True Blood: Sundae Bloody Sundaes

If you didn't get enough sweets and liquor in Vanessa's epic True Blood Season 5 premiere party post this week (in which she included these cupcakes by yours truly), you may have a problem. You also are in luck because I have one more bloody treat to fling your way faster than a shape shifter. Whether you'll be having a quiet night on the couch on Sunday night (like me) or decide to invite a bunch of your best blood thirsty friends over for a party, these Sundae Bloody Sundaes are fun and perfect for a warm June evening. 

For a bit of southern flair, I used Blue Bunny red velvet ice cream for the sundaes. It's scary good (and very sweet) and if you're feeling extra ambitious, you could always make your own. For the decadent Chambord raspberry sauce, simmer raspberries, lemon juice, a generous pour of Chambord Black Raspberry Liqueur, and a bit of sugar in a pot for a few minutes. Then, strain out raspberry seeds (or keep them in, the sauce is tasty either way) and pour over a scoop of ice cream while still warm and bloody-riffic. Top with a maraschino cherry. These sundaes are messy and melty sorta like a hot fudge sundae and verrry red (if you are partying hard, you may even want to throw down some American Psycho style drop cloths). I also made a set of fancy blood type party picks that would look just as good in cocktails or on cupcakes. You can download the design here!

On Sunday, I will also be watching another HBO gem and one of my new favorite shows, Girls (anyone else?) but until I can think of something besides cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon, shower cupcakes, and the morning after pill as themed nosh, I'm resisting the urge to post any Girls viewing party ideas. Consider yourself warned. Have a wonderful rest of the weekend!

Top photo: HBO

Follow me on Instagram! @ririmaria

True Blood Premiere Party

Party time! Whoreders loves any excuse for a party, but we're especially excited that it's True Blood premiere week. After waiting for too many agonizing months, it's time to head back to Bon Temps for more fang bangin' and shifter shenanigans. It's not too late to plan a viewing party, and you don't have to spend a crazy amount of money either. We've put together a few ideas that are easy to do yourself, and won't break the blood bank.



Party Favors/Decorations

Party favors aren't just for kid's parties, big kids like goofy little goodies too. You don't have to go too crazy, because our fabulous friend Marie at Agent Lover already came up with a genius crafty idea we love. These were originally for Valentine's Day, but it would be a snap to turn them into True Blood party favors for your party (or any party, really). Click on the picture or link below and get ready to laugh and fall in love with Marie. And I'm not just saying that because she made me (Vanessa) an Anderson Cooper valentine!

Marie's Valentines For Your Boo

You can either make a bunch of these with different characters ahead of time, or just have all the supplies at the party and let everyone make their own. Go wild, and make an extra Eric Northman brooch for me! 

Fangs a lot.

Corona & Lime Cupcakes

Picture & recipe directly from LaurenConrad.com 

Corona & Lime cupcakes, yum. I originally got this idea & recipe from Lauren Conrad...yes, the girl from Laguna Beach and The Hills. And yes I'm pregnant and baking with beer, don't judge me. I didn't eat any of the cupcakes because no one would let me. However, I would like to point at that according to certain sources, only 35% of alcohol in this specific recipe is retained after baking. I'm not a math wizard by any means, but 35% of a beer that is 4.5% alcohol level (of which I only used 1/2 a bottle) probably equals close to nothing. Bottom line, I didn't have any but I really wanted to.

Anyways, I digress...where was I? Oh yeah, cupcakes. I made these cupcakes for a Cinco de Mayo fiesta and they were a hit. The cake is almost corn bread like in texture, and still retains a hint of the Corona taste, and the frosting is amazing! I read that LC (yeah, we are on a nickname basis), didn't care too much for the frosting as it was too rich and sweet, so I cut down on the powdered sugar and what came out was a cream cheese frosting with a hint of lime, SO good! I realized these cupcakes aren't only fun for Cinco de Mayo, but for BBQ's and other summer time gatherings! 

Makes 24 cupcakes
*All of these ingredients I already had in the house except for the limes so my total for this recipe was $1.23!*

The Texas Handroll: A Party in Your Mouth

It's finally Friday (!!) so I'm going to stick with Vanessa's classy party theme here, ya'll.

New York City's Hill Country Chicken in the Flatiron area is an atomic little heaven of rich Southern fare: fried chicken, biscuits, and homemade pies with names like Whiskey Buttermilk and even an apple pie with a cheddar crust (note to self: need to try this). I've ended up here in the past because I love food but also because of it's proximity to an awesome antiques garage and flea market right down the street. This is dangerous stuff. Rummaging for finds (like this) and then settling down for a hot cafeteria-style lunch at HCC is a pretty decadent and perfect day for a girl like me.

One of my favorite things to get is also probably the weirdest on the menu: The Texas Handroll. Just don't sound right, does it? The Texas Handroll is like if Waylon Jennings had went to Japan and returned with a tasty illegitimate love child. It's wrong but so right. It's fried chicken strips (or deep fried avocado if you go with the vegetarian version) with a mound of coleslaw, sweet red pepper jelly, and sliced almonds all wrapped in a flour tortilla like a sushi handroll. Cute right? This thing is a delicious party in your mouth - a slightly disorienting party where you forget who you are and where you were going. Cool, hot, crispy, creamy, crunchy - there are a lot of textures and sensations going on here and it pretty much rules.

This week, craving one and getting bored with usual dinner options, I decided to experiment with making a healthier version at home using some of my favorite foods and and go-to tricks. Here is how it went down.

Dope Jello Poke Cupcakes

I threw a 1990s party on Saturday. I know you're jealous and you should be. I've been busy for weeks but I really wanted to make some homemade cupcakes for the event, so I picked up a box of lemon cake mix, a jar of Pillsbury Pink Lemonade frosting, and... a box of cherry Jell-O.

Say whaaaa?

They ended up being so tasty I have to tell you about them so you can make some of your own and have a party in your mouth.

Adventures in Iced Coffee

This is what working from home looks like. not. 

Truth: the only beverage that I love more than coffee is iced coffee. This year, it just so happens that the warmer weather has coincided with me working from home for the entire month of April. So far it's been no picnic (technology and I are barely on speaking terms right now) but one of the bright spots in my days of being glued to my computer desk (an old sewing machine table, not ideal but a girl manages) has been sipping on glorious home brewed iced coffee.

Now, I have tried various ways to make good iced coffee at home (including sticking the entire hot coffee carafe in the fridge like a lazy bum. not very tasty) but only recently am I finally happy with a method. Has anyone seen The Pioneer Woman on Food Network? Don't worry, no cool points lost if you haven't, I just watch my 'fair share' of TV if you will. I'm not sold on the show since I have very little in common with the blogger/domestic diva/dude ranch dwelling Ree Drummond and to be honest, her rich "down home" recipes border on diabetes-inducing Paula Deen territory. Plus, I'm so much more of an Anthony Bourdain/Travel Channel girl anyway.  However, I am loving me some of Ree's Perfect Iced Coffee. It's genius!

It's a beautiful thing.

What the Fluff.

I MADE MARSHMALLOWS.

They're actually very easy to make and they're oh-so-tasty.

Ingredients:

3 envelopes of unflavored gelatin
1 cup cold water
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup corn syrup
dash of salt
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Powder:

Powdered sugar
Cornstarch

Jiggling Jello!

I have a new fascination with vintage jello molds. Tacky, yes, but awesome in a retro way. I'm not gonna lie, part of me wants to make some nasty lookin' salmon mousse or a strange veggie "loaf" made with gelatin - but I won't. For now, anyway.

So, I picked up two at a local thrift store for a grand total of $3 and instantly started making plans, one of which will be saved for a later post.

Since it's Mad Men/60s week and they loved their jello molds - it's the perfect time to bust one out. And bust a move. Just kidding, I don't dance. Since I'm a lush, I decided the gelatin to be molded should be a popular 1960s cocktail, Salty Dog. Ingredients: Grapefruit juice and vodka with a salted rim.

Easy and (Mad) Men Approved Hors D'oeuvres

Food from the 1960's gets a bad rap because, well, for the most part, it's just bad. We're talking overly wrought recipes made with bland, over processed ingredients (canned cocktail weenies, anyone?), strange combinations of foods that aren't popular anymore for a reason, and an ungodly ubiquitous little something called an aspic (shudder). So when I pondered what I wanted to to do for Mad Men week on this here blog (besides go out for a mid-week martini lunch), I was just a little cautious when I cracked open my vintage (copyright 1963) Better Homes and Gardens cookbooks. Despite exhaustingly hauling these books with my book collection move after move (sorry mom and dad and everyone else who has ever helped me move), I've never had a desire to make even one of the recipes. I figured it was time to give them another chance. As I remembered, lots of unsavory usual suspects were there: Limas and Franks, Surprise Meat Slices, Tomato Soup Dressing, and Baked Prune Whip - these are all very real recipes. On her good days, these are the dinners that pre-divorce Betty Draper was setting out for Don. Scary stuff, right?

My New Oldie but Goodie...and Butter

Like I'd imagine most women with blood in their veins, a pair of fallopian tubes, and atleast a moderate interest in food, I've always wanted a pretty new stand up mixer. Which part of this desire is practicality and which part pure girly consumerism, I can't be entirely sure. Whatever the case is, I have not yet been able to justify being able to bake enough from scratch to want to shell out $300 for one these housewive's wet dreams. However, wanting to get more creative in the kitchen, I recently picked up this girl from Ebay. She is a $20 and change (including shipping!) vintage 1940's Sunbeam mixer, complete with a few attachments and two very lovely original milk glass bowls (my favorite part). I'll admit, she isn't the most polished thing, but like me running late to work on a Monday morning, she sure gets the job done. I think I'll keep her.

Salted Caramels. NOM.

Come here, little girl... eat some canndyy.

I certainly will, especially when it's salted caramels!

I've been wanting to make candy for a while now, but finally had en excuse: celebrating going to the Edwardian Ball in LA with friends to see Creature Feature. WHAT A GOOD NIGHT TO STUFF OUR FACES.

Here's the recipe:

In one pot warm up 5 tablespoons butter, 1 cup heavy cream, 1/4 teaspoon vanilla, and 1/4 teaspoon salt until butter has melted, as seen in photo on left. Turn off heat.

Let's Go Have a Champagne Jam

Why just drink your booze when you can eat it, too?

I've been wanting to make champagne jelly for a while now... sounds so delicate and ladylike. What better time to make it than Valentines Day?

I already had a bottle of alcohol-free champage laying around (Gross, right? I won it at work and let's face it, I'll never drink it) but feel free to use the real stuff. No need to buy an expensive bottle, but def don't pick up a nasty one either. Don't ruin the taste by being too cheap, Gurrrl.

Welcome to Tamale Town

Whore(der)s and friends gathered together this past weekend to make Tamales! Tamales, say it with me, Tuh-mall-eez (well, actually it's more like ta-mahl-ess -vanessa). To most people, tamales are these amazing masa-rittos filled with your choice of delicioso meat. To Heather and I (crazy Caucasians), they are a blank slate for our culinary craziness! While Vanessa's awesome mom Maria made Puerco y Chilé Tamales (please say that with the correct amount of Mexican), Vanessa made Bacon & Cheese and Limón Sweet Masa Tamales.

On the other side of the tamale spectrum, are Heather and I. While I made Berries & Cream Tamales (an idea I stole from Heather), Sugar & Brown Sugar Tamales, and Hash Brown-Cheese-Bacon-Casserole Tamales; Heather made Egg-Cheese-Green Peppers-Zucchini Tamales, and Peanut Butter-Jelly Tamales. Yes, Peanut Butter & Jelly.... To make things more fun, the sweet masa was a pink flamingo hot pink. So not only did we have deliciously disturbing fillings, the outside looked offensive as well. My Hispanic Grandmother would have slapped me with my own tamale if she knew what type of blasphemy was occurring over in the Tamale Town Kitchen. Who knew tamales could be so exciting?

Crockpottery

So... a few posts ago I mentioned that I won a slow cooker, well, I got it. AND I LOVE IT. It doesn't make my life any easier... I'm not gonna lie. It takes about the same work as a normal meal, but slow cooking your food can bring out a whole different taste. It allows the flavors to mingle and the textures to crumble (in a crumbly moist way, not a crumbly no-no way).

I plan on making a bunch of recipes in this bad boy, but for starters I went with chili. And again, I challenged myself to only use what I had in the kitchen ready to go.

Matzo Ball Soup: How do I love thee?

It's the week before Halloween in New York City. In a perfect world, I'd be walking down Broadway after a long day at work, wearing a cute, fitted trench coat and sipping a pumpkin latte and maybe even kicking up some yellow and orange leaves under foot. The soundtrack on my iPod would be something dreamy like Fleet Foxes, Cocteau Twins, or classic Feist. Tonight was not that kind of autumnal evening. It was bone chilling, ice cold rain and wind. I could get some specifics from weather.com but let's just say it was a watery hell. Anyone remember "frog in a blender" from the early days of the internet? It's better if you don't but if by chance you do, you'll know how pretty much all of commuting Manhattan felt during rush hour tonight. During my short walk to the subway, my favorite leopard print umbrella spastically inverted itself not once but twice before breaking and ending up in a pile of other defeated, dead umbrellas (RIP). My cold, clammy hands turned an unhealthy shade of pink and my iPhone was getting an unwanted shower even though it was deep in my coat pocket. I'm pretty sure I even saw a little girl in tiny rain boots almost blow away before her father could save her. I couldn't get home and get dry fast enough. Once at my apartment and after peeling off my wet, chaffing jeans (the worst!) there was only one thing I could imagine warming my rain soaked, weathered, and slightly bittered soul: a  bowl of matzo ball soup. 

DIY: Stuffed Apples

Stuffed Crockpot Apples....MMM....People say these are easy and delicious, and those are two of my favorite things. I'm sure they would make an amazing dessert, but I went all fat kid on you, and made them for breakfast today.

What you will need:

6-8 Apples

Apple Corer or paring knife

1 Tbsp Cinnamon

3 Tbsp butter

1/3 cup Brown Sugar

1/4 cup chopped nuts

1.5 oz Raisins

1/2 cup of water

2-4 tsp of Vanilla Extract

Depression is Delicious

I made a tomato soup cake.

I know what you're thinking and you better put that face away.

Ok, here's the story: I found a recipe for this bizarre cake a few months back and needed an excuse to make it. I originally thought it was from the 1930s, a time period where money and having food on the table was a worry for the average American family. I thought that perhaps the recipe was birthed out of desperation - a need to create food out of what was available, but in my research I discovered that a recipe for this cake originally came out in the 1920s. Kind of weakened my story... but still serves as a life lesson.

Banana "Ice Cream": A cheap and magical treat

My summer of 2011 brought a few culinary firsts: My first trip to the famous Rockaway Beach (and hence, Rockaway Taco), my first "Iced Coffee Sangria" (which an eager barista talked me into on a 90 degree day), my first time cooking with Herbes de Provence and Himalayan pink salt (both from the bargain shelf o' kitchen delights at Marshall's. How could I resist?), and my first taste of Crystal Light's new Lime Maragarita flavor (still on the fence abut this one. Hint: tequila helps). I know, it is an exciting and whirlwind life that I lead.


One of my favorite foodie firsts this summer also happens to be one of the simplest concoctions ever. Banana ice cream! Churning frozen bananas into ice cream is not a new discovery but it sure was to me when I picked up the idea somewhere along the blogosphere. Here's what you do: throw frozen, peeled bananas, unsweetened cocoa powder (I like Trader Joe's because it's organic and like $2) and a splash of milk (I've even used water or a bit of french vanilla coffee creamer in a pinch.You cannot mess this up!) in a blender or food processer (no fancy machine with a corny name neccasary). You can add more cocoa powder if you want it super chocolate-y and less banana-y. If you are feeling decadent, you could even toss in some chocolate chips, dried cherries, peanut butter or almonds before serving. I've made this several times a week all summer long. Obsessed. Even my boyfriend loves it and his idea of healthy food is putting ranch dressing on something (really). I enjoy a bowl of ice cream like the next person (Ben and Jerry's Half Baked, please) and banana Ice cream isn't ice cream exactly but it does have the same cold creamy deliciousness that makes me crave the stuff. The frozen bananas take on a consistency strangely and delightfully similar to soft-serve but have almost no fat, no dairy, only about 100 calories, and costs pennies since as you might know, bananas are super cheap (I read all about it in Freakonimics).


To score even more cheap-o points, I like to buy a big bag of over ripe bananas (even better for this recipe) for $1 at the bodgea by my apartment. I peel, chop, and freeze the bananas so I always have them on hand. Guilt free ice cream in every aspect! I like to serve mine in a vintage champagne coup and with a demitasse spoon, but that's just because I'm fancy like that. 


[Posted by Rita]