It's a Pizza Cake

See what I did there? With the title? BAM.

SO our dear ol' Vanessa celebrated another birthday (forever 29) and I thought to myself, "what better way to celebrate than with a cake that looks like pizza?"

It's easy, my lil readers, let me tell you how to make one for yourself.

First, get a nice, clean box from a pizza place. Or you can use a dirty box, but who likes a dirty box?

Next, buy or borrow a pizza pan. LTRLY, a pan for pizza. I was rull scared to use it since it was going to bake the cake so thin, but trust me. I suppose you can use a deep dish or regular round cake pan as well... but it's not as fun. The pan I used was about 1/2" high - just enough to keep the batter in.

Preheat the oven 25 degrees lower than the recipe calls for.

Make whatever cake batter you choose and only add a small amount to the pan, spreading it thin and even. I only used maybe 1/5 of the mix I had made and added enough to fill about 1-2 mm short of the top of the pan.

Pop in the oven for about the amount of time it takes for cupcakes. I don't know exactly how long it was in there for, I just kept a close watch on it. You may also want to keep a big piece of foil underneath the pan, just in case it was overfilled.

If it doesn't go right you still have enough batter to try a few more times!

Once cooled, very carefully transfer to the box (hardest part of making the cake).

Sauce:  Dyed frosting. Or I suppose you could be fancy and make some sort of berry sauce.

Cheese: Grated white chocolate.

Pepperoni: I started making fondant, but it wasn't going well (new recipe) and I was over it, so I ran to the store and bought natural fruit rolls and cut them with a shot glass. Perfect!


PIZZA PARTY.

Breaking Bad - The Scientific Kitchen

Breaking Bad Season 5 premieres tomorrow, July 15th on AMC and THIS girl is excited! I'd celebrate by cooking some meth in my kitchen... but uh... I'll stick to blue rock candy recipes, instead.
I'm all about using science in the kitchen, so let's explore some options, shall we?

Beakers are great for measuring, mixing, and drinking out of! Try this 6 piece set of beakers on Amazon for only $19.95:

Dope Jello Poke Cupcakes

I threw a 1990s party on Saturday. I know you're jealous and you should be. I've been busy for weeks but I really wanted to make some homemade cupcakes for the event, so I picked up a box of lemon cake mix, a jar of Pillsbury Pink Lemonade frosting, and... a box of cherry Jell-O.

Say whaaaa?

They ended up being so tasty I have to tell you about them so you can make some of your own and have a party in your mouth.

What the Fluff.

I MADE MARSHMALLOWS.

They're actually very easy to make and they're oh-so-tasty.

Ingredients:

3 envelopes of unflavored gelatin
1 cup cold water
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup corn syrup
dash of salt
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Powder:

Powdered sugar
Cornstarch

Easy and (Mad) Men Approved Hors D'oeuvres

Food from the 1960's gets a bad rap because, well, for the most part, it's just bad. We're talking overly wrought recipes made with bland, over processed ingredients (canned cocktail weenies, anyone?), strange combinations of foods that aren't popular anymore for a reason, and an ungodly ubiquitous little something called an aspic (shudder). So when I pondered what I wanted to to do for Mad Men week on this here blog (besides go out for a mid-week martini lunch), I was just a little cautious when I cracked open my vintage (copyright 1963) Better Homes and Gardens cookbooks. Despite exhaustingly hauling these books with my book collection move after move (sorry mom and dad and everyone else who has ever helped me move), I've never had a desire to make even one of the recipes. I figured it was time to give them another chance. As I remembered, lots of unsavory usual suspects were there: Limas and Franks, Surprise Meat Slices, Tomato Soup Dressing, and Baked Prune Whip - these are all very real recipes. On her good days, these are the dinners that pre-divorce Betty Draper was setting out for Don. Scary stuff, right?

My New Oldie but Goodie...and Butter

Like I'd imagine most women with blood in their veins, a pair of fallopian tubes, and atleast a moderate interest in food, I've always wanted a pretty new stand up mixer. Which part of this desire is practicality and which part pure girly consumerism, I can't be entirely sure. Whatever the case is, I have not yet been able to justify being able to bake enough from scratch to want to shell out $300 for one these housewive's wet dreams. However, wanting to get more creative in the kitchen, I recently picked up this girl from Ebay. She is a $20 and change (including shipping!) vintage 1940's Sunbeam mixer, complete with a few attachments and two very lovely original milk glass bowls (my favorite part). I'll admit, she isn't the most polished thing, but like me running late to work on a Monday morning, she sure gets the job done. I think I'll keep her.

DIY: At Home Samoa Bars

*Picture from Gluten Free Betsy

Apparently this week is Girl Scout's Week, where Girl Scouts everywhere sit back and reflect on their community service, and I sit back and reflect the delicious-ness that is Girl Scout Cookies. That being said, one can only buy so many boxes of cookies in good conscience. Not only are you painfully aware of how many you buy when the little girl pulls up to your house in a fully loaded wagon, but each box is $4 a piece!

Anyhow, me being pregnant with a hungry hungry husband, and a cookie crazy toddler at home, you can bet your ass I ordered a bunch of cookies. You can also bet your ass they are all gone and I refuse to go out and buy more...mainly out of shame.

So I decided to browse the Internet and find a cheap, easy, homemade version of my favorite Girl Scout cookies, Samoas aka Caramel DeLights. There are a lot of time consuming Samoa recipes floating around, but I stumbled upon an easy adaptation at the oh so yummy Baking Bites blog that better suits my impatient "I-Want-It-Now" personality.

Salted Caramels. NOM.

Come here, little girl... eat some canndyy.

I certainly will, especially when it's salted caramels!

I've been wanting to make candy for a while now, but finally had en excuse: celebrating going to the Edwardian Ball in LA with friends to see Creature Feature. WHAT A GOOD NIGHT TO STUFF OUR FACES.

Here's the recipe:

In one pot warm up 5 tablespoons butter, 1 cup heavy cream, 1/4 teaspoon vanilla, and 1/4 teaspoon salt until butter has melted, as seen in photo on left. Turn off heat.

Let's Go Have a Champagne Jam

Why just drink your booze when you can eat it, too?

I've been wanting to make champagne jelly for a while now... sounds so delicate and ladylike. What better time to make it than Valentines Day?

I already had a bottle of alcohol-free champage laying around (Gross, right? I won it at work and let's face it, I'll never drink it) but feel free to use the real stuff. No need to buy an expensive bottle, but def don't pick up a nasty one either. Don't ruin the taste by being too cheap, Gurrrl.

Peanut Butter Lovin'

I was at Target the other day and saw in their clearance 'fridge section some peanut butter cookie dough! Be still my clogged arteries, I LOVE peanut butter ! To sweeten (SWEETen, get it?) this deal, I had a rare coupon for $1 off and Pillsbury cookie dough that I found here making it only $1.08 ! Holla !

Yesterday was "National Peanut Butter Day", so in light of this I made delicious "Peanut Butter Blossoms" for my co-workers with a Valentine theme. I referred to them as thumbprint cookies all day long because Heather has ruined the word blossom for me forever.

Anyhow, these cookies are super easy to make. You will need peanut butter cookie dough, granulated cane sugar, an un-greased non-stick cookie sheet, and heart shaped milk chocolates .

First you roll spoonfuls of dough into balls. Next you roll the balls in sugar and place them on the cookie sheet.

Bake for 10-12 minutes at 375. Take the cookies out and press your chocolates into the middle of the cookie while still hot.

I obviously made them a little large so they stuck together but they were so yummy so who cares ? And you gotta figure if two stick together then it only counts as one cookie... NOM NOM NOM. Now don't be a fatty and eat them right away, you will burn yourself and/or get hot melty chocolate all over the place and look like you have poop face. Your welcome.

Cheap Thrills: Halloween Treats

Halloween kicks of the three months of holiday feasting - and chances are you're going to be invited to a party this Halloween, or maybe you've decided to throw a bash of your own. So now that you've got your costume all sorted out, the big question is what kinds of delicious Halloween treats will you be creating? I've dug up some frighteningly cute things to help you get the  party started.