Catching up with Rita: The Great Gatsby Inspired Wedding Edition

My mom took this "official" photo of us on our apartment stoop, 

because we fancy like that. 

As I sit down to write this post, I must ask myself: what have I been doing with my life during my most recent hiatus from Whoreders? Well, in addition to a whole lot of nothing, I got a promotion and a 17% raise at work (::waves tiny flag::), I got a root canal, I joined a gym and then managed to gain 5 pounds (how does that happen?), oh yes and I went to Iceland where I ate lots of Skyr (Icelandic yogurt. Get some at your local Whole Foods right now.) and came back engaged to light of my life, fire of my loins, my favorite manboy extraordinaire, Casey O. Oh and I just bought tickets to see New Order this summer. Overall, things are pretty darn good.

Despite the fact that the word fiancé still feels a little weird and that I made all the married women at work wince by wearing my engagement ring on my middle finger and on the wrong hand for a whole week before I finally had it resized, I am slowly settling into this engaged lady thing and that includes my fair share of searching on the internet for all that is vintage, lovely, and (off) white. And while I'm far from an expert on getting married fabulously and inexpensively, I sure do hope to be one day so today I will share some ideas for a Great Gatsby inspired affair on a not so Jay Gatsby budget! First off, if you haven’t seen this trailer yet, you must not have a television and/or the remains of a teenage obsession with Leonardo DiCaprio like I do and therefore are much cooler than me. Whatever the case, watch it now and you won't be sorry. I mean, how much celluloid gorgeousness can auteur after my own heart, Baz Luhrmann, cram into 3 minutes?

Très romantic, right? 

True Blood: Sundae Bloody Sundaes

If you didn't get enough sweets and liquor in Vanessa's epic True Blood Season 5 premiere party post this week (in which she included these cupcakes by yours truly), you may have a problem. You also are in luck because I have one more bloody treat to fling your way faster than a shape shifter. Whether you'll be having a quiet night on the couch on Sunday night (like me) or decide to invite a bunch of your best blood thirsty friends over for a party, these Sundae Bloody Sundaes are fun and perfect for a warm June evening. 

For a bit of southern flair, I used Blue Bunny red velvet ice cream for the sundaes. It's scary good (and very sweet) and if you're feeling extra ambitious, you could always make your own. For the decadent Chambord raspberry sauce, simmer raspberries, lemon juice, a generous pour of Chambord Black Raspberry Liqueur, and a bit of sugar in a pot for a few minutes. Then, strain out raspberry seeds (or keep them in, the sauce is tasty either way) and pour over a scoop of ice cream while still warm and bloody-riffic. Top with a maraschino cherry. These sundaes are messy and melty sorta like a hot fudge sundae and verrry red (if you are partying hard, you may even want to throw down some American Psycho style drop cloths). I also made a set of fancy blood type party picks that would look just as good in cocktails or on cupcakes. You can download the design here!

On Sunday, I will also be watching another HBO gem and one of my new favorite shows, Girls (anyone else?) but until I can think of something besides cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon, shower cupcakes, and the morning after pill as themed nosh, I'm resisting the urge to post any Girls viewing party ideas. Consider yourself warned. Have a wonderful rest of the weekend!

Top photo: HBO

Follow me on Instagram! @ririmaria

Insta-Collections! with Cavallini & Co.

My all time writer crush Vladimir Nabokov and his wife Vera collecting butterflies. 

Lepidopterists for life, yo.

I'm going to fill you in on one of my favorite secrets of internet shopping for classy home decor. No, it's not this sexeh "foot" stool that's more Myrtle Corbin than Marie Antoinette, this big ass wine bottle bar, or even the Potty Patch (although, I have had a dark moment or two in my life where I totally thought I needed this astroturf atrocity for Tino. Don't judge me). It's none of these. Try to hide your disappointment, friends.

You see, when my boyfriend and I moved into our current apartment, I set a few rules for myself when decorating the place in a tasteful (as possible) manner: 1. Keep my clutter and "collecting" under control. 2. No more bringing in "treasures" from the curb (but let's be honest, if something is super amaze, it's coming with) and 3.) Invest in some new, larger scale wall art which, since we are adults, should be framed (no, this does not include my tattered OK Computer poster from highschool or Casey's Grindhouse/Deathproof movie poster, as endearing as they both may be).

The Texas Handroll: A Party in Your Mouth

It's finally Friday (!!) so I'm going to stick with Vanessa's classy party theme here, ya'll.

New York City's Hill Country Chicken in the Flatiron area is an atomic little heaven of rich Southern fare: fried chicken, biscuits, and homemade pies with names like Whiskey Buttermilk and even an apple pie with a cheddar crust (note to self: need to try this). I've ended up here in the past because I love food but also because of it's proximity to an awesome antiques garage and flea market right down the street. This is dangerous stuff. Rummaging for finds (like this) and then settling down for a hot cafeteria-style lunch at HCC is a pretty decadent and perfect day for a girl like me.

One of my favorite things to get is also probably the weirdest on the menu: The Texas Handroll. Just don't sound right, does it? The Texas Handroll is like if Waylon Jennings had went to Japan and returned with a tasty illegitimate love child. It's wrong but so right. It's fried chicken strips (or deep fried avocado if you go with the vegetarian version) with a mound of coleslaw, sweet red pepper jelly, and sliced almonds all wrapped in a flour tortilla like a sushi handroll. Cute right? This thing is a delicious party in your mouth - a slightly disorienting party where you forget who you are and where you were going. Cool, hot, crispy, creamy, crunchy - there are a lot of textures and sensations going on here and it pretty much rules.

This week, craving one and getting bored with usual dinner options, I decided to experiment with making a healthier version at home using some of my favorite foods and and go-to tricks. Here is how it went down.

Put it on: Depeche Mode's Blue Dress

Hey girl.

Throwback time! I can't deny it, the older I get and the more and more distant the wannabe goth 15 year-old me becomes, the more creepy I notice Depeche Mode's lyrics to be. Although still a not-so-guilty favorite of mine, the clarity of adulthood has made it impossible to ignore all the carnal lust and fetishizing (and um, more than a few mentions of fifteen year olds) that my beloved DM exquisitely broods about. That being said, I still think Depeche Mode has made some of the sexiest music out there and their 1990 song "Blue Dress" from the album Violator is as sexy as it gets. Maybe that makes me a creep too? I'm OK with that.

“Blue Dress” is a sweet, kinky little song about a woman who becomes even more painfully desirable when wearing a certain, special dress. To me, this dress is understated and far from overtly sexy but becomes a focal point of desire because of the fine creature that it covers. It's the little things that matter sometimes in this big world and this song is about just that. Here are my picks for dresses that may do the same, all under $50! Blue isn’t a color I picture of when I think about a sexy dress, but that just may be exactly why these dresses work. 

Clockwise: Urban Outfitters $39, ASOS $45.45
ASOS $31.81, Go Jane $34

Vintage Spring Dresses for Lesses

I feel pretty, oh so pretty.

There is no better time of the year to rock a new vintage dress than Springtime, when bulky coats are a thing of the past but it's still cool enough to wear polyester and not sweat your brains out. Am I right or am I right? That's why my gal Heather and I put together this Etsy Treasury full of cheery frocks in all sizes and for around $25 or less. We also threw a romper in for only the most daring and fabulous ladies out there. Stripes, florals, polka dots, and nautical, oh my! 

Check out Vintage Spring Dresses for Lesses on Etsy.

 Top image: Westside Story

Adventures in Iced Coffee

This is what working from home looks like. not. 

Truth: the only beverage that I love more than coffee is iced coffee. This year, it just so happens that the warmer weather has coincided with me working from home for the entire month of April. So far it's been no picnic (technology and I are barely on speaking terms right now) but one of the bright spots in my days of being glued to my computer desk (an old sewing machine table, not ideal but a girl manages) has been sipping on glorious home brewed iced coffee.

Now, I have tried various ways to make good iced coffee at home (including sticking the entire hot coffee carafe in the fridge like a lazy bum. not very tasty) but only recently am I finally happy with a method. Has anyone seen The Pioneer Woman on Food Network? Don't worry, no cool points lost if you haven't, I just watch my 'fair share' of TV if you will. I'm not sold on the show since I have very little in common with the blogger/domestic diva/dude ranch dwelling Ree Drummond and to be honest, her rich "down home" recipes border on diabetes-inducing Paula Deen territory. Plus, I'm so much more of an Anthony Bourdain/Travel Channel girl anyway.  However, I am loving me some of Ree's Perfect Iced Coffee. It's genius!

It's a beautiful thing.

Spring (Shoe) Fever

OMG shoes.

There are a few things that Spring gets me thinking about: new dresses, Cadbury eggs, The Rite of Spring (seriously, that's my jam), getting outside more, drinking more iced coffee, and this year...shoes. I may have mentioned this before, but I'm not a really a shoe person..or am I? I usually find a pair or two that I like and (unlike clothing) I wear them in rotation until they are beyond weathered and the soles start to fall off. Anyone else do this? For some reason though, this Spring I have been really thinking about new shoe styles that I want to try out during this renewed vernal season. I even had an embarrassing Carrie Bradshaw moment that consisted of stopping and peering into a storefront window on Broadway one day to peep the consumer eye candy. I blame the media! I mean really, who the bloody hell am I? While I can't answer that, I can show you what I have narrowed down to be three essential pairs of shoes for Spring that I want to eventually get my grubby paws on - both high and lower versions (of course!).

The Everyday Platform

Left: Steve Madden, $89 Right: Forever 21, $26.80

Easy and (Mad) Men Approved Hors D'oeuvres

Food from the 1960's gets a bad rap because, well, for the most part, it's just bad. We're talking overly wrought recipes made with bland, over processed ingredients (canned cocktail weenies, anyone?), strange combinations of foods that aren't popular anymore for a reason, and an ungodly ubiquitous little something called an aspic (shudder). So when I pondered what I wanted to to do for Mad Men week on this here blog (besides go out for a mid-week martini lunch), I was just a little cautious when I cracked open my vintage (copyright 1963) Better Homes and Gardens cookbooks. Despite exhaustingly hauling these books with my book collection move after move (sorry mom and dad and everyone else who has ever helped me move), I've never had a desire to make even one of the recipes. I figured it was time to give them another chance. As I remembered, lots of unsavory usual suspects were there: Limas and Franks, Surprise Meat Slices, Tomato Soup Dressing, and Baked Prune Whip - these are all very real recipes. On her good days, these are the dinners that pre-divorce Betty Draper was setting out for Don. Scary stuff, right?

My New Oldie but Goodie...and Butter

Like I'd imagine most women with blood in their veins, a pair of fallopian tubes, and atleast a moderate interest in food, I've always wanted a pretty new stand up mixer. Which part of this desire is practicality and which part pure girly consumerism, I can't be entirely sure. Whatever the case is, I have not yet been able to justify being able to bake enough from scratch to want to shell out $300 for one these housewive's wet dreams. However, wanting to get more creative in the kitchen, I recently picked up this girl from Ebay. She is a $20 and change (including shipping!) vintage 1940's Sunbeam mixer, complete with a few attachments and two very lovely original milk glass bowls (my favorite part). I'll admit, she isn't the most polished thing, but like me running late to work on a Monday morning, she sure gets the job done. I think I'll keep her.

Things You Didn't Know You Wanted: Medical Edition

A friend once told me that I've been to every website on the internet - twice. I took this as a compliment and even though it's far from the truth, I have been to ALOT of websites - many which have made me aware of things I didn't know existed and probably didn't need to know existed. From cute finds with animals that defy explanation (like this and this) to the much darker, disturbing side of the internets (I'll spare you those links. happy thoughts, people), it's a mixed bag of pleasure and pain this internet life of mine. I guess now is a good time to admit that medical supply websites are among the copious websites that I've had no right spending time on, but I definitely have. That's right, the same sites that sell pricey pink speculums and bed pans, is where I have found inspiration. C' mon, I've never claimed to be completely normal. Keeping that in mind, here are a few of my sweet, sweet finds:

Set of 5 Sundry Jars, QuickMedical $19.69

I was a little disappointed on a past doctor visit when I didn't see these ubiquitous fixtures displayed but I'm hoping doctor offices still use them because they are pretty darn cool. An entire set of five is under $20 and would be perfect for storing cotton balls and q-tips (or tongue depressors, if that's what you're into) in the bathroom. They also come in opaque white or fancy glass versions.

Flapper Frocks and the Future of Downton Abbey

Have you heard the word on the streets? Well, ok I guess there is really nothing "street" about the mind numbingly addicting PBS series Downton Abbey but rumour has it (among other things) that the third season, which enters the 1920s, will be jam packed with cocktails instead of cordials, flapper-riffic slang, hot jazz, and an overall roaring twenties good time. It may be a little early to start planning a season three premiere party for Fall 2012 but it's not too early to start pondering the Grantham ladies' new fashions, which will no doubt be deliciously more daring than demure and more tawdry than Titantic (while hopefully still keeping it Crawley-style classy).

Lady Crawley, is that you?

Apartment Life and My Industrial Revelation

A few months ago, my boyfriend Casey and I moved into a new apartment. Like, a real apartment. I'm no stranger to apartment living and I have loved each and every one of my past humble rented abodes in their own special way. There was the one bedroom in California that I shared with my dear Heather. In separate I Love Lucy style twin beds, at night we talked across the small bedroom like girls at a sleepover, the hum of the 101 outside of our window. Then there was the 3rd floor of a Victorian brownstone that I shared with girl friends in Jersey City. This old apartment had a definite "Miss Havisham" charm with it's cracked plaster walls, ornate fireplace mantles and stained glass skylight. But, the skylight leaked in the rain as well as the bathtub during certain showers. Oh yes, and this was apartment was next to an abandoned church, an empty lot littered with busted tires and needles, and a bodega that one summer was actually missing an entire wall (for serious, really missing a wall).

Then there was my last apartment, a "garden level" one bedroom next to an awesome but very rowdy gay bar that had nothing "garden" about it unless you're talking about the ants and spiders that also called it home. But this new apartment is different. It's charming but also functional. There's old but pretty parquet floors, tall ceilings and windows, two white architectural columns in the bedroom, a claw foot tub that doesn't leak and subway tiles in the bathroom. There are actual closets to almost completely disguise my "collecting" habits and to stack towels and blankets (something even the nicest urban apartments don't always have). Oh  yea, and it's across from a park that is complete with a gazebo, twinkle lights at night and a dog park (and the occasional hobo or two, but who's counting?). It's not perfect but it's damn sure perfect enough for me.

Everyday is Halloween

No, really. Everyday IS Halloween for me. I lose count when I try to put a number to the amount of skulls decorating my apartment. An antique silver "At Rest" plaque hangs above my bed. I have lots of Victorian photographs of strangers which amateurs tell me are "creepy". I own atleast 3 dresses that could be worn in a high school production of Chicago. I have collected so many corsets that more than one person I work with came to me to borrow one when they were putting their Halloween costumes together this year. And I'll admit, I have one or two pieces of (very tasteful) bat jewelry.

Lewd, Tattooed, and Interviewed...

Hey guys, we recently had the opportunity to be interviewed by our friend Kelly from Beauty Obsessed ! It is our first interview and we had a lot of fun with the questions. Head on over to her blog, and read what she has to say! And if you are here visiting from Beauty Obsessed, Welcome! Kick your shoes off (unless you have a serious case of cheese feet), and stay a while! 

 

INTERVIEWING THE LADIES FROM WHOREDERS.BLOGSPOT.COM

Interview with Charlotte, Heather, Vanessa and Rita from Whoreders

http://whoreders.blogspot.com

Four ladies on the cutting edge of cutting corners

1. Mini Bio?

 Heather: Don't let the baby face trick you, she's a mean, sweepin', frugal machine.

Charlotte: A crazy couponing mom you would not want to approach at the playground.

Vanessa: Pinata princess and her little dog too(!), trying to remain fierce, yet, fiscally responsible. 

Rita: My name is Rita. Collecting glorious old things and creating on a dime is what I do. Sometimes it's really good and sometimes it's really bad. But it's all about the fun on the journey, right?

Matzo Ball Soup: How do I love thee?

It's the week before Halloween in New York City. In a perfect world, I'd be walking down Broadway after a long day at work, wearing a cute, fitted trench coat and sipping a pumpkin latte and maybe even kicking up some yellow and orange leaves under foot. The soundtrack on my iPod would be something dreamy like Fleet Foxes, Cocteau Twins, or classic Feist. Tonight was not that kind of autumnal evening. It was bone chilling, ice cold rain and wind. I could get some specifics from weather.com but let's just say it was a watery hell. Anyone remember "frog in a blender" from the early days of the internet? It's better if you don't but if by chance you do, you'll know how pretty much all of commuting Manhattan felt during rush hour tonight. During my short walk to the subway, my favorite leopard print umbrella spastically inverted itself not once but twice before breaking and ending up in a pile of other defeated, dead umbrellas (RIP). My cold, clammy hands turned an unhealthy shade of pink and my iPhone was getting an unwanted shower even though it was deep in my coat pocket. I'm pretty sure I even saw a little girl in tiny rain boots almost blow away before her father could save her. I couldn't get home and get dry fast enough. Once at my apartment and after peeling off my wet, chaffing jeans (the worst!) there was only one thing I could imagine warming my rain soaked, weathered, and slightly bittered soul: a  bowl of matzo ball soup. 

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want

Ever since the perfectly overcast day when I discovered the enchanting Bonadrag.com, I have spent more than a reasonable amount of time browsing the site for garments and baubles of inspiration, brooding eye candy, and sparks of magic. No, it’s not because of the blatent Morrissey reference (although that helps). It's not Bona Drag's blog bursting with beautiful, artistic people or the impeccable track listings on their mix tapes (also awesome). It’s because I am a closet sucker for the dark, luxe and romantic designer duds that, like my first real crush on the boy who sat in front of me in 8th grade homeroom, are so close yet oh so far. Could I afford this all forgiving black lace maxi dress of my dreams? Technically, yes. Could I also pay rent and buy a MetroCard, food, and hair dye next month? The unholy verdict is NO. I admit, I splurge on special things when I can but sometimes it's just not an option and a girl needs options! I have found that with a little imagination, diligent web browsing, and the right wistful yet subtle swagger, anyone can look this elegant and edgy on any budget, even a cheap, bargain basement one like mine at the moment. The key is finding the right swaps. After awhile, it becomes like a game. An addicting, exhilarating game. So, fear not my broke, fair maidens! Behold:

The essential black maxi. Eat a turkey leg or a tub of frosting and still feel like a million bucks in the comforting abyss that is black fabric - all while still showing a little leg.

Left: Imitation on Bona Drag, $292 Right: LuLu*s, $25

Happiness is a Pair of Cheap (or Free) Eyeglasses

  

Torrenting Freaks and Geeks, Arcade Fire's performance of Neon Bible in an elevator, The Bed Intruder Song, shopping for doll head tissue box covers on Ebay. Oh yes, then there's the practical stuff like online banking, buying movie tickets, and stalking people from your past. These are just a few of the many gifts that the internet has given us. However, one of my personal favorite achievements of the world wide web is the fact that getting a new pair of prescription eyeglasses no longer means having to sell your soul  and/or firstborn to Lens Crafters and eat Cherrios for a month. The best thing about eyeglasses now being more affordable than ever is the relief of not being subjected to wear the same old pair of precious eyeglasses for years. I think most people of my generation with less than 20/20 vision can relate to this.

eyeglasses + internets = true love

See, I'm 28 and started having to wear heavy duty prescription eyeglasses full time by the time I was 10. I came from a wonderfully hardworking family who owned a restaurant (with some of the best pizza in town. Nomz) but even so, eyeglasses were bloody expensive. Therefore, prior to my twenties I remember only going through about three pairs of glasses. THREE. That means I may have had the same pair of glasses for longer than George H. W. Bush was president. Like childhood best friends, I remember them all in minute detail. It's hard not to considering for years I had the same pair planted on my face just about 24/7. One even started growing weird stuff in the nose tabs, but that's a story for a different day. Bottom line, it was an injustice for the myopically challenged that went on for far too long. Thankfully, the wonderful web has made this a thing of the past and a new pair of eyeglasses that cost about the same as a new hardcover book or a pair of wedges at Target is no longer a dream. To think that my future son or daughter will never have to fill in her scratched eyeglass frames with a brown sharpie (surprisingly tricky to find in the 'burbs), is such a beautiful thought.

On that note, I now share with you some of my favorite websites for cheap eyeglasses: