Cheap Thrills: Black Magic

We all know I'm the gothic Whoreder, so it comes as no surprise that I love the darker side of life - and that includes my beauty products. What fine lady and dapper gent couldn't do with a little black magic in their beautification routine?

Shampoo/Conditioner
Let's start from the top, my long-time hair care companion, Aveda's Black Malva Shampoo and Conditioner. I've been using Aveda for 20+ years, and although I like to try new products now and then, I've never been without my beloved Black Malva. It's made for dark hair colors, and helps bring out the cooler tones while reducing red & brassy tones. I loathe red in my hair, I want it black as black can possibly be. As mentioned on Aveda's site, "Contains organically grown aloe, black tea and emollient-rich black malva that's been wild-crafted—sustainably gathered by hand in its natural habitat." 

Left: Black Malva Shampoo, Right: Black Malva Conditioner

Black Malva is part of Aveda's Pure Plant collection, and there are other flavors colors available: Blue Malva (for blonde or grey hair), Camomile (brightens blonde highlights), Clove (enriches brown hair), and Madder Root (for red & auburn hair).


Charcoal Skincare

Black Moon Charcoal Sandalwood Soap

Charcoal is another dark and lovely ingredient that can work its black magic on your skin. Activated charcoal can draw out dirt and muck from your pores, leaving you with super clean skin. You can use if for your face, or for your whole body - just don't forget to do your best Buffalo Bill Silence of the Lambs voice while you lather up. The first charcoal soap I ever tried was Shea Moisture, which is available at drugstores (I got mine at Target). But there are so many out there now! Here are some others I've tried and are on my to-try list: Coal Face from Lush, Origins Body Soap, Soapwalla's Charcoal Soap, and Sisters of the Black Moon's Charcoal Sandalwood soap.


Origins Charcoal Mask
 

Origins Clear Improvement Charcoal Mask

Origins introduced me to the world of charcoal years ago, and I still love their Clear Improvement Charcoal Mask. I use it a couple of times a month, and follow their recommendation to use a warm towel on my face right before applying the mask. The warmth will open up your pores and help the charcoal draw out the ick that got all up in your face. The 1.7 oz size is only $16, and will be enough for multiple uses, so treat yoself!

Boscia Black Mask  & Pore Strips
I am having a hardcore love affair with Boscia at the moment, their BB Cream blew my socks off and I've started trying more of their products (and falling deeper in love). I got their Little Black Book kit as a gift, it includes sample size versions of their Black Collection - all products that help control shine and minimize pores.

Boscia Pore Purifying Black Strips

Boscia's Pore Purifying Black Strips are like those disgusting but fascinating pore strips you may have tried in the past. Boscia kicks it up a notch by including charcoal powder (to draw out dirt and oil), silica (to control excess oil), witch hazel extract (tightens the look of pores), and willowherb (an anti-irritant to help calm skin and remove redness). Plus, hello, they make you look fabulous!

Boscia Luminizing Black Mask

My new favorite Boscia obsession, Luminizing Black Mask! First off, it's a peel-off - so you feel like a mad scientist or Christian Bale in American Psycho.  You apply a coat of the mask on your whole face (I just did my nose in the photos above), avoiding your hairline and brows. You wait for it to dry, about 30 min, and then slowwwwwly peel it off. If feels super weird and kind of gross, but SO GOOD. If you're a real weirdo (like me), you can save the peeled off sections to study later.

Nail Polish

Let's all agree that Karen O is amazing, okay?  That being said, her KnockOut (KO, get it?) Nail Polish is amaaaaazing! I especially love her Flatte Black, a black-black-black no-shine polish that comes in a beautiful bottle. I love flat nail color, hop aboard my crazy train. They also make a Flatte Top top coat that protects your polish while keeping the color matte.

Illamasqua also makes two really nice black polishes, Scorn (flat) and Boosh (glossy). I love their polish, it lasts a really long time and the color selection is gorgeous.

I've missed sharing my Cheap Thrills with you! I promise not to be such a stranger, if you promise to do that thing you told me about that one time.

Until next time, stay glamorous...

Valentine's Day Looks

Valentine's Day means different things to all of us. For some it might inspire a hearty, "F U!", for others it's all romantical boner city. Whether you've got a hot date with a sexy significant other, or you're just going to eat an entire box of Choco Tacos alone, you might want to throw on something cute. We thought it might be fun to get a few of us ladies to put together their dream Valentine outfits to share. And because I love all of you, I'm going to include the notes I wrote when I started writing this blog... enjoy.

Hearts, hearts, hearts, F U, blah, blah, blah. Tom Hardy lady boner, and Alexander Skarsgard dong dance. 

Cheap Thrills: Last, Last Minute Christmas Gifts

You've waited too long, haven't you? You thought you'd have enough time, so you put off your Christmas shopping and spent all this time posting photos of your pets on Instagram and watching hours of Style Network.  Never fear, your last minute Whoreder Fairy is here in this ~Special Non-Friday Edition~ of Cheap Thrills! There are still plenty of options for holiday gifts, and most don't even require you to leave your house or the confines of your jammies.

Birchbox - The end-all be-all of beauty sample sites, Birchbox will deliver Christmas cheer to your boo's mailbox on your behalf! You can choose a 3, 6, or 12 month gift or if they're already subscribed, a gift card for them to spend shopping on the site. And it's not just for ladies anymore, folks, Birchbox Men gift subscriptions are also available. The gift can be sent immediately, and you look like a holiday hero without ever having to face a crowded parking lot or checkout line.

Netflix - Another guilty pleasure that can be gifted without any heavy lifting. There are 5 levels of gift subscriptions available, starting at $7.99 for one month all the way to $95 for one year. Just think how happy your loved ones will be, and they'll think of you every time they stream an episode of Gossip Girl. If Netflix isn't their thing, Hulu Plus also has the same packages available for gifting.

Restaurant [dot] com - There are two procrastinator gift ideas here: ecards, which can be sent via email immediately in denominations from $15 to $500. They also have the Dinner of the Month club, which delivers a monthly gift certificate for 3, 6, or 12 months (each at $10 per month). Stuff their stockings and faces at the same time!

Magazine Subscriptions - There are too many to list here, but pretty much any interest you can think of has a magazine associated with it. Buy your pals a subscription and they'll enjoy your gift all year long. Some mags, like Martha Stewart Living, have a feature that lets you print the gift subscription so you'll have something to hand over when exchanging gifts. There's a magazine out there for pretty much everyone: Mad Magazine, Cheese Lovers, Boozers, and Mini Horse Enthusiasts.

Photo Websites - Everyone is buzzing about Instagram's new terms of service, so for those ready to jump ship a gift to a different photo sharing/upload site might be a nice idea. Flickr still rules my world, you can buy a 1 or 2 year gift subscription for your favorite shutterbug.  Shutterfly has instant gift cards available from $10 to $100 and SmugMug offers 1, 2, or 3 year subscriptions starting at $35.


[Blank] of the Month - These gifts might be a little pricier, but if you're looking to make a bigger bang you can go with a monthly food/drink/luxury type of gift. There are hundreds of these monthly clubs to pick from, there's wine, meat, nuts, and fruit... and everything else. If you're feeling frisky, there's even a panty of the month club available.

Donations - If you want a gift that will do some good, you can donate to any of a vast number of charities. It's not for everyone, but if your gift recipient is into the idea it can be ridiculously easy to give. The hardest part might be deciding which charity or organization, there are SO MANY! ASPCA, The Red Cross, and  UNICEF are just the tippy-top of a long, long list. You can also look at local schools, shelters, churches to help out groups in your immediate area.

If you're reading this as you get ready to head out the door to a party and are thinking, "VANESSA, your ideas are amazing and your hair looks super pretty today, but I need something awesome I can grab on my way to this ugly sweater party!" My darlings, don't worry your pretty heads... I've got you covered. Stop by your local Mexican bakery and get a dozen tamales, or a big variety of Mexican bread. Not in a Latino state of mind? Not to worry, explore the goodies other cultures in your area have to offer. For some people these treats will be a taste from their childhood, and for others an exciting new foodie adventure. More original than a bottle of booze or a big box of candy, and the leftovers will be delicious. These treats will be a hit, and will make you look like the thoughtful and generous piece of work you are, even though you waited until the last possible second to make a decision, like always.

Merry Christmas, niños!

Cheap Thrills - Faux No You Di'int!

It's the return of Cheap Thrills! I had to take a little break when I moved to a new job, but now that I'm all settled in, I can get back to sharing my retail therapy with the world. In this week's post, we're gonna fake it 'til we make it.

Normally, fakes are a bad thing, except for lashes and really good Photoshop. And, as our little friend Snooki is demonstrating, fake fur and leather. When you go with faux fur and leather, you save animals and money - everyone's a winner!  I rounded up a bunch of different leather and fur pieces... whether you want to go head to toe like Snooki, or just add small touches is totally up to you, darlings.

Cheap Thrills: 25 under $25

Since I took a little break and missed the last couple of weeks, I decided to do things a little differently. To make up for lost Cheap Thrills, I put together a big list of 25 goodies, each under $25. For you, for your friends, for your everyday gifting needs. Sometimes you need a pick me up that won't make a huge dent in your budget, or maybe you need a gift for someone but want to keep the spending to a reasonable amount... I gotchu covered, babies! Browse this list for a little inspiration, you'll be surprised how much fun you can get out of $25.

Sunny Days and Spring Frocks

It's warm again!

Time to garden, go on bike rides, visit the beach, and bust out those cute lil' Summer dresses!

I searched through Etsy to find you some new duds, all for $30 and under!

Etsy Treasury list: Spring Frocks



Images by Etsy sellers voguevintage, FashionGoRound, and TyneeTreasures

Cheap Thrills: Party In Your Pants

I can't believe it took me so long to make a Cheap Thrills in your pants post, I must be slipping in my old age. Pants are my most dreaded clothing item, I have yet to ever wear a pair and feel comfortable in them. I'm not talking about jeans, trousers and jeans are two totally different animals, jeans require their own kind of scientific fit and shopping techniques. I'm talkin' about pantalones, the dressy kind you'd wear to work and the casual ones you'd wear to a picnic if you didn't feel like shaving your legs.

So instead of immediately clicking on the "Dresses" tab of my favorite online shopping destinations, I ventured into new bottom territory. Camel toes are not welcome at this party...

Put it on: Depeche Mode's Blue Dress

Hey girl.

Throwback time! I can't deny it, the older I get and the more and more distant the wannabe goth 15 year-old me becomes, the more creepy I notice Depeche Mode's lyrics to be. Although still a not-so-guilty favorite of mine, the clarity of adulthood has made it impossible to ignore all the carnal lust and fetishizing (and um, more than a few mentions of fifteen year olds) that my beloved DM exquisitely broods about. That being said, I still think Depeche Mode has made some of the sexiest music out there and their 1990 song "Blue Dress" from the album Violator is as sexy as it gets. Maybe that makes me a creep too? I'm OK with that.

“Blue Dress” is a sweet, kinky little song about a woman who becomes even more painfully desirable when wearing a certain, special dress. To me, this dress is understated and far from overtly sexy but becomes a focal point of desire because of the fine creature that it covers. It's the little things that matter sometimes in this big world and this song is about just that. Here are my picks for dresses that may do the same, all under $50! Blue isn’t a color I picture of when I think about a sexy dress, but that just may be exactly why these dresses work. 

Clockwise: Urban Outfitters $39, ASOS $45.45
ASOS $31.81, Go Jane $34

Cheap Thrills: Orange You Glad it's Cheap Thrills Friday?

This warm weather continues to work its charm on me, and this week I was inspired by a classic warm weather treat, the Orange Creamsicle. How does that translate into Cheap Thrills? Pretty easily! I thought I'd stick to clothes, but was surprised how easily it led me to accessories, beauty products and household items.

Orange is a major color and will definitely stand out, so get ready for some attention when you're wearing it. And don't worry, I tried to cover all levels of orange, from head to toe, to just small touches for lovely burst of color. Come see what I have for you this time...

Cheap Thrills: Beach Blanket Bingo

Even a doom and gloom goth like me can't help but get excited for warmer weather. Under all this black clothing, I am a California girl at heart. Spring is here, and we have to prepare for all those sunny days ahead! Since I'm still in a retro mood, I turned to my favorite beachy icon, Gidget, for inspiration. The original Gidget was played by Sandra Dee, but thanks to endless reruns on TV, I fell in love with Sally Field's portrayal. Not surprisingly, my favorite episode was when Gidget joined a spooky band (Gidget and the Gories) and went full Goth.

Even if you're not a beach bunny, you'll still be needing some warm weather goodies for your spring and summer wardrobe. Grab the sunblock and take a gander at these Cheap Thrills...

Cheap Thrills: Mad Men Style

After a very long hiatus, Mad Men is back! Even if you're not a fan of the show, you're probably aware of the effect it's had on pop culture and fashion. The style seen on the show has popularized the retro trend in the mainstream, and you can see its influence everywhere. Whether you want to go full on Mad Men retro, or just add touches of the look here and there, you can easily get what you need without doing major damage to your budget.

To celebrate the kick off of season 5, we're going to do some Man Men inspired looks for ladies this week on Cheap Thrills. Don't think it's all about one look either! We're focusing on three of the main female characters, each one with a style all her own. Settle back with your martinis and enjoy the show...

Cheap Thrills: Crazy for Curls

It never seems to fail, people with masses of curly hair always want a magic straightener and us folks with stick straight locks want a head full of wild curls. My latest obsession is trying to get my stubborn hair to cooperate with my desire for curly hair. I don't want 24/7 curls, just an day or two once in a while. Our very own Heather wrote a great article about rag curls, which inspired the latest experiment on my blog, Verbal Switchblade. That brings us to this week's edition of Cheap Thrills, where I explore what other tools could I find to fulfill my corkscrew fantasy. 

Things You Didn't Know You Wanted: Medical Edition

A friend once told me that I've been to every website on the internet - twice. I took this as a compliment and even though it's far from the truth, I have been to ALOT of websites - many which have made me aware of things I didn't know existed and probably didn't need to know existed. From cute finds with animals that defy explanation (like this and this) to the much darker, disturbing side of the internets (I'll spare you those links. happy thoughts, people), it's a mixed bag of pleasure and pain this internet life of mine. I guess now is a good time to admit that medical supply websites are among the copious websites that I've had no right spending time on, but I definitely have. That's right, the same sites that sell pricey pink speculums and bed pans, is where I have found inspiration. C' mon, I've never claimed to be completely normal. Keeping that in mind, here are a few of my sweet, sweet finds:

Set of 5 Sundry Jars, QuickMedical $19.69

I was a little disappointed on a past doctor visit when I didn't see these ubiquitous fixtures displayed but I'm hoping doctor offices still use them because they are pretty darn cool. An entire set of five is under $20 and would be perfect for storing cotton balls and q-tips (or tongue depressors, if that's what you're into) in the bathroom. They also come in opaque white or fancy glass versions.

Cheap Thrills: Graphic Artist

Spring is just around the corner, so for this week's edition of Cheap Thrills let's look ahead at some spring trends. We're going to do things a little differently this time, we'll look at some high end options and their more budget friendly counterparts.

Bright colors are an obvious spring trend, the weather starts to warm up and suddenly we're drawn to bold colors and big pops of color. But this spring we'll also see lots of graphic prints, in the form of abstract florals, modern geometric designs, and bold prints and patterns. These pattens don't have to be limited to your clothes, you can jump into the trend by looking for accessories with these fun patterns. It's an easy way to incorporate seasonal trends into your regular wardrobe. No need to spend big bucks to rock the latest style.

Flapper Frocks and the Future of Downton Abbey

Have you heard the word on the streets? Well, ok I guess there is really nothing "street" about the mind numbingly addicting PBS series Downton Abbey but rumour has it (among other things) that the third season, which enters the 1920s, will be jam packed with cocktails instead of cordials, flapper-riffic slang, hot jazz, and an overall roaring twenties good time. It may be a little early to start planning a season three premiere party for Fall 2012 but it's not too early to start pondering the Grantham ladies' new fashions, which will no doubt be deliciously more daring than demure and more tawdry than Titantic (while hopefully still keeping it Crawley-style classy).

Lady Crawley, is that you?

Cheap Thrills: For Pet's Sake

"I demand the best, because I am the best." - Oliver, Whoreder Dog

Many of us have surrendered our hearts to a special little fuzzy, scaly or fishy face. I'm not talking about our exes, but rather our pets! I'll admit to spoiling my dog Oliver, but how could I ever deny that face? Our pets give us tons of love and comfort, so this week's Cheap Thrills are dedicated to them.  I looked for fun items that all kinds of pets can enjoy and we can get a little entertainment value out of as well. Ready? Let's fetch!

Cheap Thrills: Creature Comforts

There is a definite chill in the air, kids. Punxsutawney Phil predicted another six weeks of winter, and that means we need to get our warm and comfy Cheap Thrills on! I've slipped on my ~*fancy slippers*~ and searched high and low for the fuzziest, snuggliest, and coziest bargains out there. You know there's going to be at least one Snuggie knock off, so don't even try to be surprised.

Apartment Life and My Industrial Revelation

A few months ago, my boyfriend Casey and I moved into a new apartment. Like, a real apartment. I'm no stranger to apartment living and I have loved each and every one of my past humble rented abodes in their own special way. There was the one bedroom in California that I shared with my dear Heather. In separate I Love Lucy style twin beds, at night we talked across the small bedroom like girls at a sleepover, the hum of the 101 outside of our window. Then there was the 3rd floor of a Victorian brownstone that I shared with girl friends in Jersey City. This old apartment had a definite "Miss Havisham" charm with it's cracked plaster walls, ornate fireplace mantles and stained glass skylight. But, the skylight leaked in the rain as well as the bathtub during certain showers. Oh yes, and this was apartment was next to an abandoned church, an empty lot littered with busted tires and needles, and a bodega that one summer was actually missing an entire wall (for serious, really missing a wall).

Then there was my last apartment, a "garden level" one bedroom next to an awesome but very rowdy gay bar that had nothing "garden" about it unless you're talking about the ants and spiders that also called it home. But this new apartment is different. It's charming but also functional. There's old but pretty parquet floors, tall ceilings and windows, two white architectural columns in the bedroom, a claw foot tub that doesn't leak and subway tiles in the bathroom. There are actual closets to almost completely disguise my "collecting" habits and to stack towels and blankets (something even the nicest urban apartments don't always have). Oh  yea, and it's across from a park that is complete with a gazebo, twinkle lights at night and a dog park (and the occasional hobo or two, but who's counting?). It's not perfect but it's damn sure perfect enough for me.

Cheap Thrills: Big Love

Greetings and salutations! I'm gonna glam it up this week, specifically for the plus size ladies (such as myself). I love dressing up, but it can sometimes be a struggle to find things that are flattering and well-made if you're a larger size. It's also difficult to stay within your budget because quality clothing is going to cost more, and it's going to set you back even further if you're looking for a plus size option. But it can be done!

For the younger set, prom is just around the corner. I remember dreading formal events when I was younger, because I knew it meant disappointment and heartache in the dressing rooms - when things didn't fit or weren't even available in my size. Fear not! Your fairy godmother is here to help you find the perfect dress without compromising your fashion sensibilities.

Past your prom prime? That doesn't mean you don't have fabulous places to go, chicas. This month alone, I have two events lined up that require dressing up and getting my fancy on. Parties, big nights out, weddings, etc., there's always some sort of event looming on the horizon.

Even if you don't have something on your social calendar yet, take a look at the stuff I've found and rest assured that there are plenty of places to browse, and you don't have to settle for a frumpy frock.

Cheap Thrills: Lip Service

 

Pucker up, it's time to pamper our lovely lips for Valentine's Day! I spent the weekend searching for a fabulous red lipstick, and that got me thinking about the perfect Valentine pout. Instead of focusing on red lipstick, this week's Cheap Thrills will look at lip tints and stains. For anyone looking to take a more subdued approach to scarlet lips, this week is for you!