Catching up with Rita: The Great Gatsby Inspired Wedding Edition

My mom took this "official" photo of us on our apartment stoop, 

because we fancy like that. 

As I sit down to write this post, I must ask myself: what have I been doing with my life during my most recent hiatus from Whoreders? Well, in addition to a whole lot of nothing, I got a promotion and a 17% raise at work (::waves tiny flag::), I got a root canal, I joined a gym and then managed to gain 5 pounds (how does that happen?), oh yes and I went to Iceland where I ate lots of Skyr (Icelandic yogurt. Get some at your local Whole Foods right now.) and came back engaged to light of my life, fire of my loins, my favorite manboy extraordinaire, Casey O. Oh and I just bought tickets to see New Order this summer. Overall, things are pretty darn good.

Despite the fact that the word fiancé still feels a little weird and that I made all the married women at work wince by wearing my engagement ring on my middle finger and on the wrong hand for a whole week before I finally had it resized, I am slowly settling into this engaged lady thing and that includes my fair share of searching on the internet for all that is vintage, lovely, and (off) white. And while I'm far from an expert on getting married fabulously and inexpensively, I sure do hope to be one day so today I will share some ideas for a Great Gatsby inspired affair on a not so Jay Gatsby budget! First off, if you haven’t seen this trailer yet, you must not have a television and/or the remains of a teenage obsession with Leonardo DiCaprio like I do and therefore are much cooler than me. Whatever the case, watch it now and you won't be sorry. I mean, how much celluloid gorgeousness can auteur after my own heart, Baz Luhrmann, cram into 3 minutes?

Très romantic, right? 

The Do's and Don't of Maternity Clothes: As Told by Looking at Kim Kardashian vol. 1

All Hip Hop

 

As you all know, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, more affectionately (or annoyingly) known as Kim-ye, are having a baby. Very few celebrity pregnancies, not just the babies, have been as highly scrutinized as the pregnancy of Kim-ye.

 

The gurl obv has some sort of style or she wouldn't be where she is today, a fashion mogul (or disaster, depending on how you look at it), and don't forget she has been married two times over not to mention linked to numerous "famous" menz.

With all the extra scrutiny from the public right now, you would think Kim would have grabbed herself a professional stylist, or, if she has one right now, fire them and get a new one.

Let's start off with my favorite Kim maternity fashion "Don't" simply because there are more of them to choose from and they are much more fun.

 

Why this look doesn't work: The shape is horrible. The cut is horrible. The placement of the color blocking is horrible. The hair and makeup are too severe...Out of ten stars, I give this a rating of "Shoot me now". 

 

Who Wore It Best?

There are so many questions that need to be answered here such as:

Game of Thrones: Seven Kingdoms of Fashion Part Two

WHERE ARE MY DRAGOOOONNNS.



Daenerys Targaryen, AKA Khaleesi, is one of my fav characters on Game of Thrones and currently my hair role model.
 

I want that hair.

In the beginning she came off as a humble, rejected, ex-royalty fairy princess. Now she's passionate about getting her royalty status back and will baby stomp all over anyone in her way. Just you wait til her dragons are grown - her hair may be angelic, but her temper is not.
 

Khaleesi is a fan of desert vacations, wearing lots of muted colors of the earth, halter tops, flowing dresses, and strappy pieces.

Wet Seal short front long back dress / Astr sheer top / Astr embroidered shirt / Oasis faux leather skinny pants, $43 / Shredded legging / Jeane Blush , $45 / Topshop / Biba halter top swimwear, $46 / Blowfish booties / Jessica Simpson flat / Wet Seal / Resin jewelry / Cara long necklace

Mesh top / Topshop / Long skirt / River Island , $23 / Ecote leather sandals / Ecote / Choker collar necklace / Cuff bracelet

Keep your clothing light and flowy in case you need to walk into fire to birth your dragon babies.


Now, for the men. Hello, men.

Game of Thrones: Seven Kingdoms of Fashion Part One

Winter is coming... okay, no, it isn't, But the premier of Season 3 of Game of Thrones is! The show is a big hit, and the book series has a huge following, so it goes without saying that countless people are on the brink of losing their minds with sheer excitement about the new season. Heather and I are among those on the edge of sanity, so we decided to channel some of our nervous energy on putting together some looks inspired by some of our favorite characters on the show. In this post, I'm serving up the Stark ladies and Brienne of Tarth. Heather will feature her favorite character (can you guess who that is?) and some of the manly men.

Don't worry, we're not gonna suggest anyone go out and buy suits of armor or raid the Renaissance Fair. These are modern interpretations based on the characters, so put your fur cloak away. We're just going to play a game of fashion make believe and ask, if these characters were alive today, what would they be wearing? Also, what better way to get even deeper into fandom than to work some of your favorite character's look into your wardrobe?
 

Ready? Here we go...

Valentine's Day Looks

Valentine's Day means different things to all of us. For some it might inspire a hearty, "F U!", for others it's all romantical boner city. Whether you've got a hot date with a sexy significant other, or you're just going to eat an entire box of Choco Tacos alone, you might want to throw on something cute. We thought it might be fun to get a few of us ladies to put together their dream Valentine outfits to share. And because I love all of you, I'm going to include the notes I wrote when I started writing this blog... enjoy.

Hearts, hearts, hearts, F U, blah, blah, blah. Tom Hardy lady boner, and Alexander Skarsgard dong dance. 

Cheap Thrills - Faux No You Di'int!

It's the return of Cheap Thrills! I had to take a little break when I moved to a new job, but now that I'm all settled in, I can get back to sharing my retail therapy with the world. In this week's post, we're gonna fake it 'til we make it.

Normally, fakes are a bad thing, except for lashes and really good Photoshop. And, as our little friend Snooki is demonstrating, fake fur and leather. When you go with faux fur and leather, you save animals and money - everyone's a winner!  I rounded up a bunch of different leather and fur pieces... whether you want to go head to toe like Snooki, or just add small touches is totally up to you, darlings.

American Horror Story Season Premiere: Dressing the Part

It's the happiest time of the year for a couple of us Whoreders... October means a few things: cold weather (perfect for busting out a dozen new pairs of tights), Halloween, pumpkin flavored everything, and THE NEW SEASON OF AMERICAN HORROR STORY! We've been counting the days to the new season, although we were thrown for a loop when we discovered that Harmon family storyline would end with season one, and we'd have to say goodbye to Tate, Violet, and Murder House.

Vanessa visiting Tate at Murder House

Because the new season will premiere just before Halloween, naturally we're going to dress up as our favorite characters when we tune in on October 17th. In case any of you are as obsessed inspired as we are, we thought it would be fun to put together some fashion inspiration based off our favorite living and dead characters. Because we haven't been properly introduced to the new characters, we're mainly sticking to our favorites from last season. Warning: to anyone who hasn't caught up with the first season, there will be spoilers in this post, so go catch up then come back and read this!

Gemma Teller Morrow - Not Yo Mama (But You'll Wish She Was)

When I grow up I want to be Katey Sagal.

First she was tough and crass as Peggy Bundy in "Married with Children," now she's even tougher as Gemma in "Sons of Anarchy." Bitch will cut you, but she will look faaaahbulous doing it. 

She may play a Grandma, but that doesn't stop her from wiggling into tight, tight jeans, off the shoulder tops, dark lace, chains, knee-high boots, and lots of leather. Woot woo.

Wanna bring a little bad-bitch Gemma style into your life? Let's shop, shall we?

True Blood Fashion: Lafayette and the Vamps

It shouldn't come as a big surprise that Lafayette and the Vamps would emerge as True Blood fan favorites. Glamorous, so very pretty, and sassy - they add a special flavor to the whole show that makes us all very happy.

Lafayette 
Sassy Hip Hop with a sprinkle of drag queen - that's what Heather wrote in our notes when we started working on this post and I decided to leave it because I couldn't say it any better. Lafayette works a look that is flamboyant and completely his own, but he still maintains a sense of masculinity. As fierce as a drag queen and as ferocious as the manliest macho man, that's our beloved Lafayette.

Lafayette loves showing off his toned arms (tickets to the gun show, anyone?) so that means you'll need to stock up on cool tank tops. The Deter Rib Cage Tank from Urban Outfitters is probably our favorite, as is this Glamour Kills Pizza Party number. Can you imagine anything better than Lafayette and a pizza party?! I can't. Be a walking optical illusion poster with this Tube Lines Tank from Karma Loop, p.s. hellooooooo mister male model.

True Blood Fashion - Sookie and the Werewolves

Heather is still a bit embarrassed to say it - but we're excited about this Sunday, kids! What's Sunday, you ask? OUR PRECIOUS TRUE BLOOD COMES BACK TO US. June 10th is the Season 5 premiere on HBO and we're ready to drool, I mean, watch the show!

Vanessa and Heather decided it would be fun to put together some fashion posts for the main characters, and although we originally had you, the readers in mind, we quickly realized it was all about us. For a few brief days we got to pretend to BE these characters... "if I was Eric, what would I wear?" and the answer is always "nothing," until we realized that post would be rather short.

Let's begin, shall we?

Sookie Stackhouse - Bon Temps' resident clairvoyant faerie waitress,  is a laid back country dish with sex served on the side. Sookie's look is sweet southern belle without the fuss and frills. Despite everything she's been through, there's still a bit of innocence that shines through her character and that's reflected in her wardrobe. She's not afraid to show off some sun-kissed skin, but it's never done in a vulgar way, Grandma Stackhouse wouldn't approve!

One of Sookie's signature looks is a sweet summer dress. They're feminine and youthful, short (but never too short), simple and flattering to her figure. When shopping for your Sookie sundress, don't over think it - imagine you're going to a picnic on a warm, sunny day. Old Navy has so many adorable dresses that fit this description right now, like these Sweetheart Sundresses, only $17! Many of the sizes are selling out, but it's worth a drive to the nearest store to check their inventory. This ModCloth dress is perfect for a day in the park and Lulu's has this Roxy Liberty dress that's very Sookie-worthy:

Sunny Days and Spring Frocks

It's warm again!

Time to garden, go on bike rides, visit the beach, and bust out those cute lil' Summer dresses!

I searched through Etsy to find you some new duds, all for $30 and under!

Etsy Treasury list: Spring Frocks



Images by Etsy sellers voguevintage, FashionGoRound, and TyneeTreasures

Trendy Mommy Tuesdays vol. 8

Inspiration: Katherine Heigl



Pictures thanks to JustJared

I LOVE KATHERIN HEIGL! There, I said it, well, actually I shouted it. I have been a fan of Heigl since her Disney Days in Wish Upon A Star (we won't talk about My Father the Hero). At that time, I was 10 and I thought she was the most gorgeous person I had ever seen. I always wondered why she was never in anything else (that was mainstream anyways) and then lo and behold Grey's Anatomy debuted and there she was, and I have loyally stalked her ever since! I think she is so fun and cute, I just wanna squeeze her Elmyra Duff style!

Anyhow, besides her being a hilarious actress in some of my favorite movies, she is always put together and well dressed everywhere she goes. This past Mothers Day weekend was no exception, and now that she is a mother of two adopted children (Go Heigl!), I get to rant and rave about her her on Trendy Mommy Tuesdays!

Shirt: YesToStyle $25.20

Pants: Levi's from Macy's $42

Shoes: Seychelle's from 6pm $50

Glasses: Charlotte Russe $5.50

Belt: NY&Co. $9.95



Shirt: Olivialicious from BTY $62 (pricey but soo cute!)

Pants: Style&Co. from Macy's $25

Shoes: ALDO from 6pm $40

Glasses: JLo from Kohl's $25

Belt: Kohl's $15.60



Thanks for checking out another edition of Trendy Mommy Tuesdays, and as always, if you want me to cover a specific fabulous celebrity mom or if you have any questions/comments on the looks I put together this week, let me know via FB, Twitter, or leave a comment below! Thanks for stopping by, and until next week, keep on Whoreding!

Cheap Thrills: Party In Your Pants

I can't believe it took me so long to make a Cheap Thrills in your pants post, I must be slipping in my old age. Pants are my most dreaded clothing item, I have yet to ever wear a pair and feel comfortable in them. I'm not talking about jeans, trousers and jeans are two totally different animals, jeans require their own kind of scientific fit and shopping techniques. I'm talkin' about pantalones, the dressy kind you'd wear to work and the casual ones you'd wear to a picnic if you didn't feel like shaving your legs.

So instead of immediately clicking on the "Dresses" tab of my favorite online shopping destinations, I ventured into new bottom territory. Camel toes are not welcome at this party...

Put it on: Depeche Mode's Blue Dress

Hey girl.

Throwback time! I can't deny it, the older I get and the more and more distant the wannabe goth 15 year-old me becomes, the more creepy I notice Depeche Mode's lyrics to be. Although still a not-so-guilty favorite of mine, the clarity of adulthood has made it impossible to ignore all the carnal lust and fetishizing (and um, more than a few mentions of fifteen year olds) that my beloved DM exquisitely broods about. That being said, I still think Depeche Mode has made some of the sexiest music out there and their 1990 song "Blue Dress" from the album Violator is as sexy as it gets. Maybe that makes me a creep too? I'm OK with that.

“Blue Dress” is a sweet, kinky little song about a woman who becomes even more painfully desirable when wearing a certain, special dress. To me, this dress is understated and far from overtly sexy but becomes a focal point of desire because of the fine creature that it covers. It's the little things that matter sometimes in this big world and this song is about just that. Here are my picks for dresses that may do the same, all under $50! Blue isn’t a color I picture of when I think about a sexy dress, but that just may be exactly why these dresses work. 

Clockwise: Urban Outfitters $39, ASOS $45.45
ASOS $31.81, Go Jane $34

Cheap Thrills: Beach Blanket Bingo

Even a doom and gloom goth like me can't help but get excited for warmer weather. Under all this black clothing, I am a California girl at heart. Spring is here, and we have to prepare for all those sunny days ahead! Since I'm still in a retro mood, I turned to my favorite beachy icon, Gidget, for inspiration. The original Gidget was played by Sandra Dee, but thanks to endless reruns on TV, I fell in love with Sally Field's portrayal. Not surprisingly, my favorite episode was when Gidget joined a spooky band (Gidget and the Gories) and went full Goth.

Even if you're not a beach bunny, you'll still be needing some warm weather goodies for your spring and summer wardrobe. Grab the sunblock and take a gander at these Cheap Thrills...

Trendy Mommy Tuesdays: vol. 4

Inspiration: Elizabeth Banks

You didn't think this whole Hunger Games craziness would go buy without us even touching on the subject or the cast did you ? I shamefully admit that I have not read the books, nor have I seen the movie. All I know is that one of my favorite actresses is in it, Elizabeth Banks!

Anyhow, you don't often read about her in gossip mags or even see pictures of her out and about in the normal world. This rare picture is one of the most recent in the tabloids of her in a "lazy-chic" look. Here she is sans husband, child, and make-up but still a cutie!

Here is a very inexpensive version of her grey chunky knit cardigan (only $10!) from JCPennys. Remember to pair this sweater with a cute drop waist tunic ($30) from j. jill, and a pair of skinny jeans with room to cuff them of course, like these DC jeans at $21 from 6pm, or these at only $10.50 from forever21.

And of course, what is an outfit without accessories? Here is a cheaper version of her tan cross-body bag from American Rag at the low price of $26 from Macy's. You can find similar sunglasses at Kohl's for $15 and a classic straw fedora from Urban Outfitters at only $24.

As for the lace up boots, I found so many cute ones I just couldn't decide. Torrid has a brown faux leather pair on sale for $9.99, Tilly's has a lace up/zip up light brown pair on sale for $18, and these uber cute fabric pair from 6pm. I want them all!

Trendy Mommy Tuesdays vol. 3

Inspiration: Gwen Stefani

Gwennie Gwen Gwen stepped out two weekends ago to our local Knott's Berry Farm with her boys Kingston & Zuma. I can't believe she is forty-freaking-two! She looks amazing !

You can get a similar grey tank at Urban Outfitters for $16 and black jeggings at Loehmann's for an amazing deal of $24.99 for Romeo & Juliet Couture Jeggings!

As for the accessories, you can find a similar cute wool with felt trim Bowler's hat at ASOS for $35.81 or a woven polyester version for the slightly lower price of $29 at Urban Outfitters. The printed scarf can be found for a sale price of $24.43 at Express. The sunglasses are a little more tricky - there are tons of similar version that are very expensive, I could only find a similar shape (but sadly, not the same color) like these cuties available at TopShop.

UPDATE!!! I found a super cute pair of almost identical glasses to Gwen's at Fred Flare on sale!

Cheap Thrills: Mad Men Style

After a very long hiatus, Mad Men is back! Even if you're not a fan of the show, you're probably aware of the effect it's had on pop culture and fashion. The style seen on the show has popularized the retro trend in the mainstream, and you can see its influence everywhere. Whether you want to go full on Mad Men retro, or just add touches of the look here and there, you can easily get what you need without doing major damage to your budget.

To celebrate the kick off of season 5, we're going to do some Man Men inspired looks for ladies this week on Cheap Thrills. Don't think it's all about one look either! We're focusing on three of the main female characters, each one with a style all her own. Settle back with your martinis and enjoy the show...

It's Mad Men Week at Whoreders!

Even if you don't watch the show, you have to admit... the fashion on Mad Men is top notch and drool-worthy. Classy, sleek lines, red lips, done up hair, and emphasis on the curves while still being lady-like. Sigh.

Season 5 of the show premieres on March 25th and we Whoreders decided to have a Mad Men inspired week - all things 1960s!

Let's get started with a new Etsy treasury list, Mad Men and Sexy "Skirts". All items are $40 and under!

Photo: Joan Holloway on Mad Men, AMC

Trendy Mommy Tuesdays vol.1

Since this is my first Trendy Mommy Tuesdays article, I guess I should give a brief intro. I have had a severe case of the pregnancy blah's lately and I can't seem to get over it. I feel like if I looked better, I would feel better but I don't have a lot of time to put into my look as I'm constantly chasing my monster...err...daughter around. So like any young mother in the throes of fashion despair, I look to typically unattainable celebrity moms for inspiration. I try and find cute moms in their normal day to day look and attempt to put together their look for less.

Inspiration: Jessica Alba




This style is so simple, casual, and cute! But above all, it's easy and cheap! You can find a similar cardigan at Urban Outfitters for only $39 and you will get a lot of use out of it or Target has an even cheaper version of it for $20 (just not in Navy Blue). Knowing Jessica Alba and her love of skinny jeans, I'm betting that is what she is wearing. Old Navy sells some for $29.50 and they last forever!