This Spotty Mug

Hi, my name is Heather and I have poop stains on my face.

Soo... a while back I wrote about buying a Groupon for an IPL photofacial deal nearby and told you kids I'd give you my two cents. Well.... I'm a bit slow. I didn't make an appointment for a while and I waited another couple months after I had it done to take the "after" photos. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

Here I am, pre-laser treatment, in all my spotty glory.

Behold! Bare-faced "Angry Baby" Heather!

As you can see, I have some freckles on my nose, cheeks, and forehead, which I don't mind so much - but the thing that stares at me angrily is that dark cluster of sun-stain under my right eye. Why must you be so mean to me, sun? We can't be friends anymore.

I went to my appointment alone (I was scurred) and the lady explained to me that she would only treat the top layer of my skin since I had never had it done before and that it would feel like a hot rubber band slapping my face. She wasn't lying. She smeared jelly on the section she was going to work on, kept a fan on my face, and BAM! hot slap on the face, one after another. Most of it was tolerable, but a few spots, especially closer to the eyes, made me jump like I was being electrocuted for my sins. Sounds awful, but I promise you will survive. After she finished she put a light peel on my skin and explained that my face would feel hot for a while and some of the spots would surface, looking darker than ever. I stayed warm for an hour or so, but it didn't take long at all for the spots to surface. My big dark spot got more spotty and a few by my eyes and forehead surfaced that I didn't even know I had.

By the next day my face looked like this and it felt slightly dry and irritated, like a very mild sunburn:

Days two through six I started to peel, starting around my mouth and working outward. It took everything in me to not pick at it, so I made sure I had moisturizer nearby at all times. Some of the black spots fell off with the dead skin, which was fun to watch. I should have held little spot funerals, "Here lies lil' Blotchy, I'm glad you're gone. RIP."

Day seven was my follow-up appointment for microdermabrasion to get the rest of the dead skin off and they zapped a couple more spots close to my eyes that were originally covered up by the goggles.

As the weeks went by, some spots faded, and some almost seemed to darken - or maybe it was just me being overly critical. I knew going into it that I would need more than one treatment but I secretly hoped for a beauty miracle that would leave me perfectly doll-faced after one treatment. Not gonna happen, ladies. Not with these poop stains.

Yes, I'm more blonde and the lighting is a little better (aka more flattering).

It may not be extreme, but there was some improvement. Most spots lightened and a few almost disappeared completely. Overall, my complexion is more even and a little brighter. I definitely plan on getting more treatments in the future so that I can fully reverse the damage and look forever young.