Angry Baby Lasered Cheeks

A long time ago in a far away land I barely remember... I was tanorexic. I know, it's hard to believe, but I loved it. I went tanning often and turned a lovely crispy brown, hiding all flaws and looking glow-y. I eventually stopped going, I don't remember why. I reverted back to my natural state - pale, sparkly white.
Years later I went camping, spent a little time in the sun, and came back home with BROWN SPOTS ON MY FACE. It was so bad a co-worker tried to smudge one off my forehead, thinking it was dirt. HOWDAREYOU.
I now religiously wear SPF products on my face and have tried a few bleaching creams. The poop stains are a little lighter, but still stare at me in the mirror every day. I cry.

After researching all of the lightening products I realized I can spend and spend and spend on creams, but most aren't going to do much for me, what I needed was a more permanent fix - laser treatment.
Lasering isn't cheap, and that scares me, but I understand that spending a larger amount up front to get better results is better than spending smaller amounts for less lightening for the rest of my damned life. It's one of those things that's actually worth splurging on, and afterall, it IS my face. People have to stare at this when they talk to me and I don't want it to look fug.
So I've been watching all the deal websites for the past few months, promising myself that if I found a great price I had to buy it. Sure enough, it showed up on Groupon.
The deal was for a $500 fotofacial and microdermabrasion for only $149. They had the option for six hair removal sessions instead, which is a better deal... but I really want to laser my face off. On top of the already great price, I went through Ebates to get a few bucks back! By the way, for this pay period I'm already at $51 - it really adds up!
Anyway, my dears... I will keep you updated. I will take before and after pics and give you my results. I hope I have the complexion of a Geisha after this is over.

Look at me, ma! I spent money on myself!